Not the Life You Ordered? Anxiety and Feeling Stuck

You wake at 3am wondering “What am I doing with my life?”, “Where did my dreams go?”, or simply “How did I end up here?”

You're not alone

People of all ages can feel disconnected, lacking in purpose and simply stuck. The problem can seem overwhelming with no obvious way forward. Low mood can follow and with it anxiety, irritability and unhealthy coping strategies. Anxiety about what might happen if you challenge the status quo can leave you stuck, in a state of simply existing and feeling ashamed for not being able to make changes that seem simple on the surface.

So, how can therapy help?

Firstly, it helps to shine a spotlight on the problem. It gets you to connect with what you are feeling and what you are thinking. It can help you to identify subconscious beliefs that are limiting your choices or stopping you from taking even the smallest risk.

Common beliefs include:

– “Life must always feel certain.”

– “I should have figured everything out by now.”

– “I can’t cope with the discomfort of change.”

– “I’ll never achieve my dreams.”

– “I don’t deserve to be happier.”

– “My choices must be perfect.”

Challenging these beliefs and building new, more helpful ones, can improve your mood, ease anxiety, and free you to move forward.

What if you don’t know what you want?

Clients often say "I have no idea what will make me feel more content". They’ve even lost touch with their values and what they enjoy. Encouraging them to connect with the version of themselves that dared to dream – before life became difficult – can reconnect them with hopes, passions, and preferences.

Finding their values and how they want to show up to the world can often be illuminating. Living a life that is not aligned with these values can often drive psychological distress and disturbance. If someone’s top values are creativity, beauty, and innovation and they follow a profession, for example, in accountancy this could present some challenges. Building a life based on your values means you are far less focused on what other people are doing and making unfavourable comparisons.

How do you make change happen?

Ultimately by taking action – there is no other way. Making choices and behaving in line with them is much easier when irrational beliefs aren’t holding you back and your values are pointing the way to a life you want to live. Progress won’t be linear but celebrating even the smallest of shifts can help to keep you on track.

If this sounds like you then your first step could be getting in touch for a free introductory chat. Change can start today!

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